You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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