Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
