Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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