i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
We just shotgunned beers for America
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
