it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
