I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
