I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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