Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
