That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
