No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
