fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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