i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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