you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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