I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
