my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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