Define "chronic" masturbator.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
