I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
