11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
