i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
