He told me they were just razor bumps!
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize