You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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