well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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