end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize