New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
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