bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize