is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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