My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
