So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
