This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
