I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
