careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
