I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Randomize
