she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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