Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
