The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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