i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize