Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
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