the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize
