apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize