I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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