She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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