That's intense
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
