FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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