there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
