You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
