just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
