Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
