His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Randomize