Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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