I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
