please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize