Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
