OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
