Me. At least after what I've been through.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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