he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Congratulations! We have a period
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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