She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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