Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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