I saw his package. It spoke to me.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
