yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goatâ€
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