i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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