He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
