Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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