Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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