i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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