How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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