Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
