I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
