The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
