I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
