there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
