Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
