May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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