theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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