I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
