My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
