We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
