I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
