Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
