we're blogging at a bar
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
